my dogs gave me a lecture today
maybe this year ill find a boyfriend [audience laughs in the background]
ive always hated kids
"did you hate yourself when you were a kid"
how am i supposed to forget you when every time i go outside i see things that remind me of you
- garbage cans
- dog shit
- asshole people
- those babies that you want to punch in the face because they wont stop crying no matter what
"We’re preparing you for the real world"
I don’t meant to alarm you but
the real world has calculators